What could be a better birthday gift than being called to "Come on down!" and spin the Big Wheel? Nothing, right? I envisioned the $10,000-spin being the highlight of my mom's week-long visit to the west coast.

We awoke on her birthday at the crack of dawn to make our way to CBS Studios. Upon arrival, I was entertained instantly. A cross-section of America was corralled, eager to show the producers their neon and glittered T-shirts that employed clever requests to play Plinko or kiss Drew Carey.  Eye candy galore.

Within thirty minutes, we learned we did not make the cut for the AM taping and received "no-guarantee tickets" for the PM rendition. No problem. We will meander down Hollywood Boulevard, grab a bite to eat, and return in a few hours.

The energy of the afternoon herd was a bit more tense. It quickly became obvious that not all present would secure one of the coveted 327 seats. Admittedly, I was excited to witness human behavior unfold in this surreal social experiment. 

Mary and her retired husband had blown an entire day of their California vacation in this lousy place and they had better get in or somebody was going to hear about it. Jason and his chest-puffing buddies demanded to know why the website does not say tickets don't confirm a f***ing spot. (The website clearly and repeatedly states this fact, minus the profanity.)

Although I cannot be certain, I imagine neither Mary nor Jason intended to spend vacation in a cloud of angry disgust. Yet, judging by their behaviors, that is exactly what they were choosing to do.

Total Behavior is made up of four components: Thinking - Actions - Feelings - Physiology (Body), and these four will always match. We cannot feel joyful while thinking anxious thoughts. Thinking and Actions are under our direct control; Feelings and Physiology are indirectly controlled by our thinking and actions.  

If we want to change how we feel, we must change our thinking, our actions, or both. Mary and Jason cannot control external circumstances, but they can control how they feel about the circumstances by choosing thoughts and actions that foster desired feelings.

Imagine you are feeling angry, and then choose to watch a movie. You realize after the movie that you were not feeling angry during the movie, but if you go back to thinking about what has gone badly (e.g., relationship, work, etc.), you start feeling badly again. You have to keep thinking the unhappy thoughts to keep the anger going.

What situation have you felt bad about recently? Can you work backwards from the feelings to identify the thoughts you were having about that situation?

Experiment with this idea. Watch for something to happen today that typically would elicit a negative thought or reaction from you. Try adjusting your thoughts and actions to see what happens.

My mom and I were only six numbers away from getting into the audience. Jason's group also missed out. Mary and her husband, though, were the last numbers to be called. I am not sure how I feel about finger-pointing Mary getting in.

Oh wait - I can choose how I feel by choosing my thoughts... "Mary deserves to Come on Down just as much as the rest of us, or maybe more, who knows."

Okay, feeling wonderful. Thank you, Mary?
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