Rise and shine indeed!  Today is going to be BIG.  Today, I will step forward into my authentic self and my fulfilling work; I will bust through barriers, nothing will stop me!   

7:30 AM:  Time for breakfast.  Not particularly hungry, but I should eat now so I can really focus on my work the rest of the morning.  Prepare oat-apple-flaxseed specialty.

7:43 AM:  In preparation for this productive day, I will relax with a magazine while I eat. 

7:50 AM:  In what feels like an instant later, my spoon clanks against the bowl.  I glance down to find it empty.  How did the food disappear so fast?  Start the computer.  Time to get rolling...

8:39 AM:  Oh man, it’s almost 9 o’clock!  How on earth did I aimlessly surf the web for almost an hour?  Better make some tea to snap out of this stupor.

8:58 AM:  Return to the computer.  Tea in-hand, I construct a list of amazing things I will accomplish today. 

9:35 AM:  Overwhelm ensues.  Inbox holds countless additions to my to-do list, none of which align with the “amazing” list.  Bathroom break.  On the way back to my desk, I grab the dried apricots I purchased as “treat rations” for the week.  I’ll just have a few.

9:38 AM:  Go me!  I ate just two apricots, twisty-tied the transparent produce bag, and proudly pushed it to the side.  Way to stick to my guns.  Now to apply this discipline to my work.

10:50 AM:  Creating a website is hard.  I’m tired of proofreading; I’m tired of slow internet connections.  Can’t I just coach clients through transformation without having to learn computer programming? 

The apricot sirens lure me with their sweet, sticky song.  Technically, I allotted myself three or four apricots earlier, but…since I was so good and only had two…I can add the two surplus apricots to the two I plan to have now!  I select the four biggest pieces from the bag (and one tiny one), place them on the mouse pad, and close the bag again.  I will eat one every ten minutes as an incentive to work hard.

10:54 AM:  What’s the point of spacing out these apricots?  I am an adult for crying out loud.  If I want to eat them all now, I will.  My robotic jaws subdue the remaining sirens.  

11:10 AM:  Bellyache, as if my stomach is attempting to digest a brick.  Why did I eat more apricots?  Today’s eating plan has gone to hell, and it’s not even noon yet!  Tired, can’t concentrate.  Wondering if Sally emailed me back yet…

11:33 AM:  Open Google and search “dried apricot nutrition data.”  According to my findings, I decide to eat six more dried fruits in exchange for a smaller lunch.

11:50 AM:  Ten minutes until lunch.  Feeling guilt and regret – apricots are evil.  Will add ten minutes to the power walk tonight, and for lunch, I will eat lettuce, carrots and water.  Maybe with a few crackers, but just a few…  And after lunch, I really need to focus and get something done today!

This is the conversation I have been living.  I am ready to live a new conversation.

Can anyone else relate to this love-hate relationship with food?
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