Contemporary spiritual teacher Ram Dass said “If you think you are truly enlightened, go spend a week with your parents.” I’ve been pondering this idea the last few days, before my parents arrived yesterday.
As they explore the local botanical gardens during my “work time” this afternoon, I sit in the apartment eager to share my initial observations with you. In the past 24 hours, I have spent much of our family time sharing with them my new environments, new experiences, and new visions for my future. This is typical of most of our visits.
In a nutshell, I am showing my parents how I am changing. And if I’m completely honest, I expect them to accept the “new me” every time we reconnect.
Simply put, each time we engage in conversation with someone we know, we are revealing (deliberately or through context) how life has changed for us since we last communicated. Typically, we expect others to accept these changes at face value. When someone does not give us the space to be different than we were yesterday or 20 years ago, we feel suffocated and react accordingly.
Why is it, then, that I don’t expect my parents to change? When they show up at my door, I expect my parents to act like they always have. That’s just who my parents are, who they were, who they will be. As they speak, I already have a response for how they always will be. Not a lot of room for enlightenment, right?
My parents’ presence has gifted me with this insight:
Being aware of people in the present moment holds power. Instead of shoving everyone into the old molds of who we thought they were, we can listen for new energy, new possibilities. Only in that space do we allow for transformation – in them, in us, in our relationships.
How much space are you giving others in your life to be different than they were yesterday, or different than they were 20 years ago? Could this correlate with how much space you allow yourself for transformation?
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