I feel overwhelmed, disgruntled, out-of-sorts…altogether crappy.  In this moment, I don’t want to compile my thoughts in a grammatically-correct, rational sequence to convey some kind of transformational message for you – so I’m not going to. 

Instead, I’ll be 100% candid and off the cuff.

One step forward, two steps back seems to be the theme.  Somehow my conscious, centered, openness twisted into rushed, ineffective tunnel-vision.  My to-do list is a mile long, with no clear priorities.  My brain stretches to capacity, trying to juggle lingering household tasks, unreturned phone calls, and new business project ideas.  All I want to do is curl up and watch a movie – make that four movies. 

In the past week, my attention to detail disappeared as I attempted to multi-task my way through each day.  This unconscious way of being cost me time, money and sanity (e.g., missed appointment, charred saucepan, pointless arguments).  It’s no surprise I feel neither healthy nor happy.  In fact, my self-care routine has gone out the window.    

Aarrrhh!  Stepping away from the computer to breathe...

Okay, I’m going to work through this with you now. 

As I review what I wrote, I notice I gave a lot of strength to my interpretations.  For example, is my to-do list really a mile long?  What made me use those words?  If I began with just the facts, you (and I) may be asking “what’s the big deal?”  But instead, I threw a veil of drama over the facts in my quest to prove to you (and me) how hard life is right now.  I put effort into proving a struggle exists.  What a waste of time.

If I wrote only facts, I would write this:  I moved to a new city ten weeks ago intent on meeting new people and being open to new possibilities.  My commitment was and still is “to be extraordinary in life.”  I met new people, I explored new places, and indeed, new possibilities arose.  Connecting with new people and visiting new places requires time, and sometimes other resources. 

Telling my “story” from a more objective, factual viewpoint helps me see I am getting exactly what I desire in my life (awesome!).  I also see I have control over what goes on my to-do list and how to revise my schedule in the face of new circumstances. 

The rushing around, the packed calendar, the "mile-long" to-do list – it’s all created by me.  With this awareness, right now, I can return to my commitment to be extraordinary and create something new.  That’s it, plain and simple. 

I’ll stop there for now and take some time to absorb.  I feel more extraordinary already. 

What challenges are you facing?  Are you experiencing any problems that you may be creating?  

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